Lifetime Employment Died Yesterday at 4:22 AM

Please note: This blog is meant to be a parody.

Yesterday, Life Time Employment officially passed away. Last seen Life Time Employment, better known as an organization playing a parental role to employees from the start of their career to retirement, was on life support but resting comfortably at your local area hospital.

But leading up to his demise Life Time Employment went through the entire gamut of emotions. Life Time Employment denied that her company or any company was ever going to need to make tough staff decisions to be competitive. And that he might be impacted in his role. She missed when sales had been declining for many many months, even whole quarters, rambling on about the good work they do, “they will never touch me,” she was heard mumbling incoherently. He got angry, actually agitated when the business changed its business strategy and wanted to focus its staff on what it does best! This shift to core expertise brought in new people, but they were outsourced workers, temps, evil contractors, folks that were destroying their way of life!

Life Time Employment felt that building her skills up for the future was a waste of time and energy. Life Time Employment did not network, “I have enough to do!, I need to manage my lifetime relationships here at this lifetime job.” Life Time Employment kept doing the comfortable things at work. He did not ask for the tough project or volunteer when help was needed. She and her coworkers were comfortable in their work. And surprised when they were passed over for promotions. But the small raises came and Life Time Employment has bills and obligations to meet. All was OK.

The way of life of the modern worker is really only a generation or two old, but quick to take root and became the way. Life Time Employment was born and very healthy. I deserve to work here. I will start at the bottom. A mentor will look out for me. I will get raises. I will get promotions. I will get challenging work. I will stay here 20, 30, or 40 years and get that retirement party and that gold watch that means I achieved life time employment.

I know what you’re thinking. Companies are taking advantage of Life Time Employment. No, companies don’t seem to last for a life time of work today. Markets come and go. Services change. Leaders change. Tastes evolve. The world of work is just like everything else in the complex thing that is the modern world. We are all contingent workers today. We are all responsible for our own careers, our learning, our skills. We have to build and manage relationships and sell our capabilities. It never should have been lifetime employment or the company’s role to begin with. Today’s modern worker is a contingent worker. They manage their own path.

The concept of the contingent worker was not born yesterday.